12.14.15

A LETTER FROM ME…

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This is the hardest thing I have ever written…

Read My Letter Here

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Comments

  1. Oh Eleni. This is so beautiful. I remember having these same feelings, crying on the floor for hours, feeling broken and empty because I couldn\’t conceive a child. It was the hardest thing I ever went through. I remember my husband promising that everything would be okay and that one day I would hold our baby in my arms. It was hard to believe at times. It was hard to breath most times. But what I can say is that, the waiting and the pain gave me the strength I needed for the day I did become a mother. I\’m sending all of my love your way. Thank you for sharing your heart.

    • Brie says:

      Eleni,

      Wow, wow, wow. Your words just moved me to tears. My husband Tim and I have been struggling with infertility for 6 years. It has been the hardest thing I have ever gone through. I know how hardened your heart can get. I know those moments of anger and jealousy. Asking the questions why me? Why us? The monthly reminder that once again we won\’t be parents. Over the last 6 years my heart has kind of gone numb to the fact that we may never be able to conceive. The only thing that makes it easy is knowing that my God is a good God. He loves me even though the things I think and feel are so unlovable. I am his. When I\’m at my worst he still loves me. I know that we are given more than we can handle. If we didn\’t we wouldn\’t need Jesus. We love in a broken and fallen world where there is hurt and pain. Know that God loves you. You are precious in his sight. Thank you for sharing your heart on this topic. Why infertility is looked down upon is so sad and wrong. I think it\’s because us as women feel ashamed and broken. That what we think should be so simple isn\’t. It is very isolating and it shouldn\’t be. So know from afar that you are not alone in this journey. I know how your feeling and am in this with you:)

      Brie

      • conveythemoment says:

        I am so sorry you ever had to feel this pain. for six long years. I can’t even imagine. I want you to know that I am thinking of you and He is so GOOD. Keep believing and never lose faith. BIggest hugs, E

    • Rachel says:

      You are a brave and beautiful person inside and out. I know that sharing your journey wasn\’t easy, so many people struggle in silence but knowing that you are not alone is just a small thing to help you and others To keep moving forward. Sending you love xo

    • conveythemoment says:

      aren’t our husbands amazing? I just don’t know what I would have done without him. You were so right, YOU are so right. Our little miracle is on it’s way and I couldn’t feel any more blessed. Thank you for understanding and taking the time to comment and support me. Means so much.

      E

  2. I think it\’s really brave of you to share this with the world. You are stronger then you think! Sending you love and strength. Xxx Esmee

    • conveythemoment says:

      It’s crazy how we learn how strong we truly are through struggle. Thank you for sharing the love. Means so much.

      E

  3. Mary Anne says:

    I can’t stop crying. I look up to you and I want you to know that.

  4. Jaime says:

    Thank you for sharing. I know how hard it is to share something so personal. You are an inspiration to many and I am happy to have been following your blog for a while. Just know that your readers are here for you too. I don\’t know what I can say but just know that my thoughts and prayers are with you!

    • conveythemoment says:

      This really helps heal my little heart. Thank you for taking the time to comment.

  5. Preeti says:

    Oh Eleni, I am hurting for you so much. Trust me when I say I know how you feel and I\’ve felt the same things as you. Guilty for feeling joy when there\’s such a big void, and guilting for hurting when you have so many blessings. I know personally there\’s nothing anyone can do or say to make you feel better, but I\’m praying for you and hope you get your family some day. <3

    • conveythemoment says:

      That is such a good way to put it. Honestly. Thank you so much for understanding. I am thinking of you also.

  6. Stephanie says:

    Oh how I cried through this. Thank you for sharing. It is so true we are all struggling with something whether big or small. We constantly see everyone in their perfect moments but never in their darkest hours. Even though I haven\’t had that as my trial in life I felt as if you were speaking to me. Life comes with its challenges and there are things we learn durning those moments that we could learn no other way. I love you so much and admire your strength. Thanks for sharing I know how hard that must have been. You are a rock that many people can lean on. Love you xoxo

  7. Amanda says:

    I am so happy that I stumbled on your blog today. Your words were absolutely touching and my heart really goes out to you and your husband! I can\’t even begin to understand your pain and what you are both going through but please know that I\’m sending my love and hope that you are blessed with what you really want. <3 Stay strong xo.

  8. Rebecca says:

    Thank you for sharing this. My husband and I have been through the same thing for about the same amount of time as you and your husband. It hurts so much, and like you said, if you haven\’t been through it yourself, you will never know. To walk the aisles of Target seeing women with multiple children sometimes brings me to tears. I have been through an HSG, IUI, I am now on Clomid. To think that it may never happen is heart breaking. For you to share this deep, emotional, private information is BRAVE. You and your husband will be in my thoughts.

  9. nichole says:

    beautiful. honest. raw. as someone who tried for 6 years to have children only to stop because my husband was diagnosed with cancer, I know the hurt, the deep hurt of wanting this so badly. the attending of baby showers for those you love. the questions as to why you don\’t have children. the comments of friends who got pregnant \”without even trying\”. thank you for putting into honest words what those of us have experienced. your story is beautiful, even in the midst of these dark hours.

  10. Shandra says:

    You are so brave and I\’m grateful to you for being so real. I\’ve left some of my social media accounts for this very reason; because I didn\’t want to pretend to portray a happy life when I was broken inside. Although I\’ve never struggled with infertility, I know exactly how it feels to pray and be willing to give everything you have for a healthy child. My son has a congenital heart defect and has spent months in the hospital. He\’s had 2 open heart surgeries and numerous other procedures to help save his heart. I understand your newfound patience and struggle to understand why this battle was put upon you.

    I pray that you will soon have your heart so full of the love of little children. I pray you will drink cold coffee and have a living room floor that is scattered with toys. I pray that your sleepless nights will soon be because of a crying baby and not because of the anxiety and stress of infertility.

    You are strong.

  11. Leah says:

    so beautiful that you can speak out like this. my husband and i also suffered from infertility for two and a half years. stay positive and have faith in the process. it does work! feel free to email me if you ever need to talk to someone who has gone through what i\’m sure is very close to what you have gone through. it helped me to speak with people who also were going through a similar battle. good luck!!!

  12. Blue says:

    Eleni, you are so strong and beautiful and an inspiration to so many women. I have not struggled with infertility but struggle with anxiety and depression and your words ring true to me as well. Thank you for sharing your story. You will be the light for so many women for being brave enough to share. So much love, from Blue.

  13. Just beautiful. My heart breaks for you.
    I just found you on IG a few weeks back, as I started my own blog back up again and created an IG account, so I was drawn in by your gorgeous photos and what appeared to be a beautiful life. But I agree with all you said. So much going on with us all that we just don\’t know about or share. I applaud your courage for being brave and feel for your struggle. I hope one day you can have what you want….however you may get there. I can\’t imagine and won\’t say I know how you feel. But I encourage you to keep strong and keep trying. Babies are worth the fight! …..a fellow calgarian 🙂

  14. Thank you for sharing your story. I was in your shoes for so many years. We too struggled with infertility and it was the worst, most painful, experience I could have ever imagined. Many of your words hit home for me. The tears, the heartache and the emotional roller coaster this cruel journey takes you on. Like you I tried to publicly keep it all together, but behind closed doors I was a sad, emotional mess. My husband and I would really work to enjoy life while we can. One year we did alphabet dates, and planned dates inspired by each letter of the alphabet. I\’d blog to help fill the time. To outsiders I\’m sure life looked so romantic, but honestly these days were a way to bring some happiness to our days. 5 years and over 8 rounds of IVF I have my beautiful daughter. I look back at that time of my life and in many ways it seems like eons ago, but the pain is also still there. Watching your video brought it all flooding back. I guess, what I want you to know is that you are not alone. It is okay to have hope, even in the most hopeless situations. And one day you will be a mother. It might not be as you had planned, but if you want it, I can happen for you and that baby will be lucky to have you.

  15. Oh Eleni! You sure know how to make a girl cry. And really, all for the right reasons. While I am lucky to have a healthy 2 year old. My sister isn\’t. She has been struggling with this for over 5 years now. And while I can never understand it, I can certainly be aware of how it affects her. Her desperation to carry a baby. Her desperation to experience each trimester. I was there in moments where she couldn\’t even give herself a needle because she was so sick or swollen and if her husband wasn\’t there my sister and I were. Thank you for reminding me how hard it is to go through something and struggle internally with so many different emotions. I\’m gonna give my sister a tighter hug today and show her this video. She\’s still trying. Wow, Eleni! Thank you for just reminding me.

  16. Jana says:

    You are so incredibly brave for sharing your story. My husband and I also struggled with infertility for two years, and they were the darkest and most soul crushing of my life. It is hard to even believe you are capable of feeling so much hurt. And the isolation is devastating.. How can you feel so alone even when surrounded by all of the things that should bring joy and contentment? Please remember you are not alone. You are strong.
    You are in my thoughts. xo

  17. Stephany Jackson says:

    Wow, you are so brave! Everyone has their struggles big or small, like you said, and you are such an inspiration for opening up about yours. I am thinking about and praying for you to have the little family that you want so badly and deserve. I know there is nothing anyone can say to make you feel better but always remember God has a plan! 🙂
    -Stephany
    http://littleclosetdiaries.com

  18. Trish P says:

    I have not once read your blog…until today. With tears streaming down my face, I thank you for sharing this, and for sharing it in such a beautiful way. My husband and I had 4 miscarriages, and while I know infertility is a different kind of struggle, so much of what you shared was my life. Those days, on the floor, completely broken and no one really knew. Thank you for being brave, for all of us that weren\’t. Praying for you!

  19. Hi Eleni,

    You don\’t know me but we live in the same neighbourhood/area. I want to apologize to you. You are so right. We see the perfect moments but rarely the struggle and that leaves us vulnerable to judgement. I love watching your snaps and following your blog and instagram but I have to admit I did silently judge you – thinking that you had the perfect life. I know I should know better. But I often found myself thinking why am I having these thoughts, why do I care because my life isn\’t bad. We should be lifting people up and wanting them to be happy! It is horrible how quick we can be to envy people without really knowing it thinking about it. I appreciate you sharing. While I haven\’t been through this myself and I cannot imagine the pain I do know a similar struggle and I just want you to know I am thinking of you and I am sorry.

  20. Kalia says:

    I don\’t usually comment on blogs or Instagram but this one touched me. I feel so very sad for you and I know you don\’t want pity but just know that there are many people sending you love and light. Don\’t give up hope. Your wish can come true. And also I just wanted to let you know that your home decor, Christmas decor and blog have really inspired me! So much that I basically copied your fireplace set up. It\’s gorgeous. So amidst all your heart ache and struggles, you are inspiring people with your blog! Thank you for sharing your story and being vulnerable. I\’m sure many people going through the same thing listened to your video and felt a sense of relief that they are not alone. Bless you.

  21. Julie says:

    Eleni,

    Like everyone above has said, thank you for being honest. Thank you for opening your heart and allowing us to gain insight on your personal struggle. There are so many people who needed to hear your words. Your courage was their savior. Also, I have been following your blog for many years and have been in love with the positive messages you always try to send in a world full of darkness. I also know that you were a nurse, and I have tried to keep your positive attitude throughout my nursing school, since as you know it is a rough road! I decided when I was 14 to become an infertility nurse, when I watched my aunt and uncle go through this same hardship. I hope one day I will be the lucky nurse to give life to a family as deserving as you. I am praying for God to place a sweet babe in your arms when the time is right. You\’re in my thoughts and prayers.

  22. Brie says:

    You\’re so brave for being so open and honest. This is an amazing reminder that we need to be more kind, patient and compassionate to others because you never know what they are going through. Sending you hugs, love and prayers for your journey <3 Thank you for sharing xo

  23. Tess says:

    thank you for sharing this. i am so sorry for you and your husband. i have struggled with a similar situation and its so true that people make comments and judgements on others lives without knowing who they are or what their situation is. it was so brave of you to share your story and this struggle- it isn\’t something to be ashamed of, and way more common than we think. thank you for making me feel like I\’m not alone! I\’m sending all my good wishes your way- you seem like such a lovely woman and i really do love your posts and they brighten my day! all the love! xoxo

    • conveythemoment says:

      oh thank you so much. your well wishes have helped us so much. I appreciate your comment more than you’ll know.

  24. Maggie says:

    Hi Eleni. I stumbled onto your Instagram feed today and watched your video. Thank you for being so vulnerable.
    I recognized the walkway up to the fertility clinic in Calgary right away in your video, as I spent time there myself. I can echo every word of your letter. I admire the courage it took to share your story in such a public way.
    My husband and I have been together for 12.5 years and battled with infertility for 8 years. The last two years were the darkest for us as we neared what we decided would be the end of trying to have a family and the beginning of the rest of our lives as a twosome.
    In those last years, my daily mantra became a quote by Joseph Campbell – We must be willing to get rid of the life we planned, so as to have the life that is waiting for us.
    This time last year, after a failed round of IVF we decided to finally move west to the ocean and start a new life. This past May, as we prepared for the move, we transferred our last 2 frozen embryos – our last shot. I 100% did not believe that it would work and had come to a place of peace and acceptance, excited to start our new life with a new perspective. When I got the news that I was pregnant, i still didn\’t believe it. We\’re now 8 weeks away from meeting our little one and I feel like I\’m in an alternate universe. After 8 years of a broken heart, the last 8 months have been a struggle to release the feeling of impending doom, all the baggage that comes with infertility and finally say \’why NOT me/us\’ instead of \’why me/us?\’. I think anyone who deals with this type of struggle, even if they finally do have children, carry a piece of this grief with them. Hopefully, it makes us all more compassionate people.
    Perhaps it\’s an individual thing, but regarding infertility, I\’ve never appreciated the \’stay positive\’ sentiment, though I know it\’s said with good intention. It always seemed to imply to me that attitude was some how a factor in getting pregnant when I know in my case and based on your communication, yours as well, that staying positive is not the problem.
    All I can tell you is that no matter what happens, you\’ll be ok. I know, because I made it through drowning in the deepest part of an ocean of grief to a place where I could touch bottom with my head above water and begin to feel hope again. That all came before the news of pregnancy.
    You are not alone. There is an army of us with you. Keep swimming through this and loving each other. The life you are meant to live is waiting for you.

    (Yeesh – that was long winded.)

    • conveythemoment says:

      Tears. Sobbing tears. Your words were so encouraging and inspiring and I feel so grateful you took the time to comment. I love how you say that all came before the news of the pregnancy, because it is so true. So much of my healing has happened before we did ivf and got pregnant and I just truly believe hat. Thank you so much for sharing this.

  25. Although I cannot relate to your specific story, I can relate to the struggle and pain that you are going through. I am 28 and going through a divorce from someone who I have been with since I was 15. I\’ve spent half of my life with this person, became an adult with them, and there are reminders everywhere I look, everywhere I go. Yet, I smile for the #ootd pictures and keep it to myself. I\’m so glad you have a husband willing to stand by your side and be there for you. Maybe one day, I will too.

    Kacie
    RegallySoled.com

    • conveythemoment says:

      My heart. I am so so so so sorry to hear of your struggles. The truth is, that we all have them and they always always always happen for a reason. Find comfort in that. You are one step closer to your forever story and you needed to get rid of the past in order to get there. I will be thinking of you, don’t forget that.

      hugs,
      E

  26. Thanks so much for sharing dear Eleni!
    Lots of thoughts, prayers and hugs coming your way.
    God is still for you.
    Love,
    Ida
    https://livinglifefullyalive.wordpress.com/

  27. Lori says:

    Dear Eleni: I have been through those dark hours/days/weeks as well. You struck a very real chord with me and I felt compelled to write you. I met my wonderful husband later in life and although I had hopes of having our own together, it did not happen. I never felt like I could share the pain because all my friends had children so I kept it to myself. I am in awe of you in sharing your story! I do have 3 beautiful children acquired through marriage and they are truly a joy in my life and being real here, yes, some pain as well when they forget about me on Mother\’s Day, etc. but I do have to learn not to set myself up re: expectations but simply enjoy those special moments of connection. Life has a way of giving you what you need – just ask the universe – I know it sounds kinda crazy but if you believe, you will receive. It may not be how you thought, and it may take time, but there is always an answer.

    • conveythemoment says:

      Oh sweet Lori. I always say, expectation is the biggest reason for disappointment. But you see that. I wish I could erase all of that pain from you but know that it shapes you into the strong woman that you are. I truly believe that. I do agree, and I never ever ever stopped believing and now we are expecting our little miracle. Thank you for your support and love and encouragement.

  28. Sending big hugs girl. You are loved. And you will be a wonderful mom some day, I just know it. I can\’t pretend to know what you\’re going through, but I do know that hope is not lost. Love you girly

    • conveythemoment says:

      aww thank you so very much. it truly means the world to me to have your love and support.

  29. Beautiful and oh-so true!
    <3
    katsfashionfix.blogspot.com

  30. Very brave of you to open up to the world. I really admire that of you. Sending warm hugs. xoxo I feel like I want to help you out on a holistic level. Have you thought of other alternatives or seeing a holistic dr?

  31. Kaitlin says:

    This was simply beautiful.

    Although I am not married and do not have kids, I know how it feels to feel hopeless and to feel as if the world is crashing down around me. You sharing your struggles is so inspiring. And beautiful. Being vulnerable requires so much strength, and with your story I\’m sure you will give comfort and peace to many people. Thank you so much.

  32. Wow, what a beautifully written letter. I am so sorry that you are going through this.

  33. Amanda says:

    Eleni,

    Thank you for sharing such a personal post – it was very powerful. I admire your courage, and I know that your story will touch many women and families going through similar situations. I wish you and your family all the best.

    Warm Regards,

    Amanda

  34. Jess samantha says:

    Oh Eleni! Such beautiful words & an inspiring story. I love what you are doing & what your blog represents! I am so sorry to hear about this. I admire your courage and strength! Sending my love your way!

    -Jess

  35. Oh Dear! My heart hurts for you! Thank you for sharing. When my husband & I went through this at first we kept it to ourselves but as we started to open up to our family & friends it was easier to cope. My husband & I struggled with infertility for 3 years which felt like eternity. I remember feeling so betrayed by my own body. My husband never ask of much and the one thing he wanted u couldn\’t give him. We had 2 failed IVF cycles. We decided to take a break from it all I I got pregnant on my own shortly after that. We gave birth to our Miracle baby on June 11, 2015! And then we gave birth to our bonus baby August 22nd, 2015. Now I am a mom of 2under2 Don\’t give up on hope. It will happen for you!

  36. Alicia says:

    You have always been someone I look up to and this made it even more evident why I love you.

  37. Jackie says:

    Thank you for sharing that. I too have been struggling I found this on an infertility page and it led me to your blog. Its hard, and to me its all consuming, my husband is so wonderful and loving but he is just one person I feel like I am breaking on the inside. I feel your pain …I am sorry you\’re going through this.

    • conveythemoment says:

      Hello Sweet Jackie,

      I too am so sorry you are experiencing this. But look, it brought us together. I’ll be thinking of you and know that your miracle is on it’s way if it isn’t already. Big hugs, E

  38. Shannon says:

    As someone who has also gone through infertility struggles I can completely relate to each and every feeling you\’re having. After months of being poked, prodded, ultrasounds, pills, injections I felt like giving up. I made the decision to throw in the towel and give my body a break, from all of the above and the stress that came along with it. It felt like my friends were getting pregnant left, right and centre with ease, which only led me to become even more discouraged.

    Then the last month we received treatment at the fertility clinic I was impatiently waiting my blood test results. I was so used to hearing, \’The test is negative\’. I was fully prepared for this again. The girl sounded so somber like she too was prepared to give bad news, but in fact we were pregnant! We\’ve since been blessed with a second healthy baby, luckily without the use of such invasive fertility treatments.

    My mother used to say it was a test, to ensure this was what we wanted. I\’d scoff and tell her she was ridiculous, but perhaps in life we need to be tested no matter how harsh it can feel in the moment. That way we\’re more than grateful when things come together.

    Don\’t give up, you\’re miracle will happen ❤️ Thanks for sharing.

    • conveythemoment says:

      I couldn’t agree any more. Honestly. A test I for some reason all of a sudden appreciate. Thank you for taking the time to comment and encourage me. So grateful our miracle is on its way.

  39. This was so heartfelt and honest and vulnerable. I\’m so moved by your strength and how brave you are to share this with so many strangers.

    While I can\’t vouch for understanding your personal journey, I couldn\’t agree more that we need to be honest with ourselves and with the world, that we need to focus less on ideals of perfection and projecting an image of being \”okay\” and more on finding true connection & compassion with each other.

    Thank you for sharing.

    Sending love and light to you and your man.

    xx
    Rebecca

    • conveythemoment says:

      Thank you so much for taking the time to say this. It means the world to hear from everyone no matter where they are in life. So grateful.

      E

  40. Nicole says:

    I came across your video today on your infertility story . I want to thank you so much for posting . As i sit here at work on my break & wipe the tears away from my eyes , i feel not so alone . Every word you said i can relate . You seem like such a strong women , someone people like myself can look up to , & for that again , i thank you . Sending lots of love & prayers your way xox .

    • conveythemoment says:

      You are never alone sweet Nicole. I appreciate this comment so much. I am grateful that my story is helping others heal and survive their own stories. Thank you so much for taking the time to comment and being part of our journey.

  41. Natalie says:

    Hi Eleni,

    A beautiful name for a beautiful girl inside and out. Thank you for sharing, my husband and I are on a very similar path right now. In 3 months we can be referred for IVF and I am terrified and anxious. The waiting and not knowing is the hardest part and also trying not to show anyone how much your broken inside. I think personally, I am scared of what might come flooding out once I open the gates. I don\’t want anyone to pity me either. It sounds like you are managing to see the beauty in everyday despite the heartache and that\’s a real inspiration to me. I want to be less angry or jealous inside as others having healthy babies, even when they\’re not trying, or on their 2nd baby before I can even get a bfp, it can feel like everyone else is taking my turn from me somehow but the truth is, my journey is separate and will not improve if others stop having babies! Or make it any easier. Some of the hardest comments to hear are when people say sometimes couples just aren\’t compatible, that hurts as I found my soul mate and couldn\’t imagine a baby with anyone else. Anyway, I am rambling when what I really mean to say is that you have made a difference to me, and by reading all the comments you have to so many more. Thank you and I am praying for you and hope you achieve your dream. Stay strong and be kind to yourself on the darker days. Lots of love. N. X

    • conveythemoment says:

      I totally understand how you feel. I remember being like seriouslyyyy baby number two already? But this will make you appreciate your journey and your baby so much more. It will make pregnancy feel like the most amazing gift you have ever been given. It will remind you that the pains and aches and vomiting and nausea and exhaustion are all privileges instead of burdens. It will make you become a more patient mother. It will give you a whole new perspective on this world you wouldn’t have other wise obtained. Trust me on that. Because I am here now and I truly feel like it has changed me for the better. I always said I would ALWAYS change my struggle but now that I look back on it, I believe it has helped shaped me SO much into the person I am, the mother I will be. Keep telling yourself this. It will happen for you. Say that over and over and over over because what you feel, you manifest within. You have to create a happy, loving environment for baby to grow. I remember thinking if I ever got pregnant feeling that sad and miserable it would have been such an awful environment to bring a baby into, so focus on you and helping you feel better and everything else will fall into place. You’ll be able to make better sound choices, take next steps and be receptive to options you once denied. I’ll be thinking of you. Hugs, E

  42. Silvia says:

    This made me cry because what you are going through is what I\’m going through. Thanks so much for sharing. I\’ve been following for a long time and I would\’ve never known we were going through the same problem. God bless

    • conveythemoment says:

      My heart. I wish so badly I could remove the pain you are feeling because I know just how awful it feels. Just know that I am thinking of you and can’t wait till you get your miracle.

  43. Evelyn says:

    I follow a lot (and I mean a lot of bloggers – mostly fashion) for how beautifully they portray life. But none of it has touched me the way your video letter just did. I\’m a mess. But aren\’t we just a beautiful mess trying to keep it together? May God bless your journey! Your are amazing and God will provide. ((Hugs))

  44. Chelsea says:

    Eleni,

    Thank you for this. My husband and I are just starting out on the same journey and looking into our options. Although this is not the path I would have chosen, I have faith in God knowing that everything happens in His timing and in His perfect way. I, like many others, feel alone in this process. Thank you for sharing your story and showing me and many others that we aren\’t the only ones walking through this.

    Best Wishes,
    Chelsea

    • conveythemoment says:

      that is what makes us all so unique. We approach things so differently. I truly can’t wait till you get your miracle baby and I know it’s coming in one way or another. I’ll be thinking of you!
      Biggest hugs,
      E

  45. eleni, thank you for being so open about your experience. my husband and I have been trying to start a family for 4 years and I know what you\’re going through. it is a raw, vulnerable, roller coaster ride that so many of us go thru in silence. i do believe that speaking up, sharing your true-self and helping others to do the same is part of the process and as you peal away the layers you will get closer to your dreams.

    i recently came across this blog and really connected with the post about embracing loss. http://www.nohandsbutours.com/2015/09/29/embracing-loss/

    stay positive and don\’t give up hope, eleni – that is the only part of this journey you have full control over.
    – lh

    • conveythemoment says:

      Thank you so much for the encouraging words. I seriously can’t believe we are here and truly understand that sharing our story helped in my own healing process.

      I now feel I am in the best possible place to bring baby girl into this world.

      Thanks for the comment! E

  46. Eleni, I just watched this video for the first time and have tears streaming down my cheeks. I admire you for being so raw, humble and vulnerable. For sharing your heart. Your soul. To comfort other. To encourage and challenge others. I want to wrap you in my arms and hug you and hold you. I’m so happy that while I am writing this now, that you are expecting your miracle. And what a miracle baby will be! You will be the best mama in the whole world and I’m so happy to watch your journey … and still hope to hug you and meet baby one day soon xo

    • conveythemoment says:

      Awww Mary. Thank you so much. It seriously was the hardest thing I have ever gone through. Thank you for always being so encouraging and supportive. Our world needs more like you. Can’t wait till we meet one day.
      Biggest hugs,

      E

  47. Christa Stowell says:

    Eleni, First off I just want to say congratulations on the news of your baby girl! That is so exciting! I came across your Instagram page awhile back in search for comfort during my infertility struggle. I must say that I instantly became a fan of tulips, shabby chic and the beautiful photos you post daily. I needed that positive encouragement that was portrayed in your photos and I thank you, as I feel it has helped me not focus so much on the negative. I actually just watched this video yesterday, and I must say I cried as if I knew you. It was so relatable, and every word you expressed was exactly how I am feeling now. I know it is not easy to share this struggle with the world, and I want to thank you for sharing this with us. It is so wonderful that your story will now have a happy ending and I wish nothing but the best for you and your husband.

    Christa

    • conveythemoment says:

      Christa,

      Thank you so much for taking the time to comment and read. I remember watching videos on YouTube for comfort and support and bawling by my self on the ground because I hurt so badly and wanted a happy ending to my story. Yours is coming. You have to keep positive, find light in the daily things and know that you’re one day closer to your baby. I know it’s impossible to believe. Absolutely impossible. But I am living proof. It will happen. Keep telling yourself that over and over and over.

      We will be thinking of you.

      Biggest Hugs,

      Eleni

  48. Karla says:

    Eleni,

    Thank you. I just cried my eyes out watching this video. I am on day 3 of our IVF #2. I can\’t begin to explain how this touched my soul and my heart.
    KC

    • conveythemoment says:

      Thank you for taking the time to write a comment. IT means so much to us. Just know we are thinking of you and please feel free to update us if you wish! Biggest hugs Karla,

      Eleni xo

  49. Anne says:

    Hi Eleni,

    First off, Congratulations on the good news of your baby girl!! I am so happy for you that you get to experience the wonderful world of Motherhood.

    I have a daughter who just turned 7 and she was an easy one to conceive. I was off of birth control for about a month and got pregnant with her without even trying. So… I assumed that having a second child would be just as easy at the age of 32. And boy was I wrong! My husband and I have been trying for almost a year now in August and it\’s been the hardest, most stressful time of our lives. Getting blood tests done, ultrasounds, acupuncture and nothing but negative pregnancy tests over and over has left me depressed and left with a face full of hormonal acne!!

    We have been referred to the fertility clinic to see if there\’s anything they can help us with. I tried seeing an acupuncturist and a naturopath but nothing seems to work. I don\’t know why I\’m dealing with secondary infertility and I never thought I\’d be in this situation. My daughter said the other day while we were at her year end celebration that everyone has a brother or sister and she\’s the only one without a sibling. And I almost teared up. I never thought I would ever have to deal with infertility after having a child already. I\’m not sure how I can deal with the ongoing stress from people constantly asking me when I\’m going to have another child, when little do they know… we\’ve been trying.

    I truly feel your pain and the pain that any couple goes through when dealing with infertility. The struggle is nothing that anyone would know unless they are, or have gone through it themselves. I\’m hoping that I can have another child and feel that first love you feel with your first born. Because when you have that beautiful miracle of yours, your life will feel as though nothing around you no longer matters and it\’s just you, your husband and her in this world. I hope to feel that joy again.

    I\’m sorry this was extremely long but I wanted to tell you that you are a brave soul for telling your beautiful story to the world! And thank you for that. I wish you and your hubby all the best with your little bundle of joy, you truly both deserve it!!! I know you will be the best parents to that beautiful girl. She doesn\’t even know that she\’s already going to be the luckiest girl to have you both as parents!!

    Take care.

  50. Eleni,
    Such a beautiful, eloquent letter. Thank you for sharing your journey with us, I know that wasn\’t easy and it is such a private thing.
    I had two miscarriages before I finally had my son. And those were the darkest days of my life but also some of the loneliest. My husband was so supportive also even though I know he too was hurting. Now when I look at my son Krystian as his first birthday is approaching I still find myself crying in awe of the fact that I am a mom now. That this moment I never thought would happen is here finally. I\’m so happy for you two. I\’m happy that your dreams of becoming a mom are finally coming true. You are going to be a spectacular mom. You already love your baby so much! Xoxo. Thank you for sharing. And I can\’t wait to see pic of your gorgeous baby!
    Take care.

  51. Nicole says:

    After struggling with infertility for 6 years, we gave birth to a beautiful baby girl with the help of IVF. She is 7 now, and is more amazing than I could\’ve ever imagined. She was joined by her brother, who came to our family through adoption. Although I\’d never wish infertility on anyone, I\’m thankful for what it brought into my life; an understanding and sympathy for others and two beautiful children.

    Thank you for bravely telling your story. We are not alone!

  52. Thank you for sharing such a painful process.
    Congratulations, God works in the most amazing way.
    Am a new mommy and motherhood is the greatest blessing.
    Am so happy for you and Tim. Stay blessed

  53. Jaime says:

    I remember watching your video almost a year ago…at that time my husband and i were trying for our own family and I had hoped that I would never feel that pain and prayed my husband and I were the lucky ones…After a heartbreaking appointment yesterday and the whirlwind emotion and frustration, I thought of your video and had to watch it again. Everything you said is exactly how I feel in this exact moment…but your determination, hope and patience has inspired me to be that better person…so I start my journey today. Thank you.
    Congrats on your little miracle!

  54. Bon Que Que says:

    Hi Eleni

    I just have to say I think your husband Tim is just the cutest little man!. Mmmmmmm girl, if i ever get a man half as cute as that little, bald nugget id consider myself a lucky gal. Instead im stuck with Gerald who is a lazy slob, who couldn\’t please me even if I came with an instruction manual. Oh Lord Eleni help me find my Tim so that i can start my happily ever after free of Gerald.

  55. Lauren says:

    Hi Elena

    I stumbled across your YouTube videos lastnight after a particularly bad day when AF arrived, I stayed up to 2am watching all your videos, I found your blog when I needed it the most. My husband and I have been married for just over 2 years and have been trying to conceive since then. We are battling with whether or not to begin IVF, every month I think \’this will be the month\’ but after 2 years that starts to take its toll. All around me I see friends and family get pregnant and I can\’t understand why it hasn\’t happened for us. My husband is incredible he picks me up when I\’m broken, he\’s always positive I\’m so blessed to have him. Everything you say I can identify with, it\’s like your in my head and speak the words I cannot find. I just wanted to say thank you for being such an inspirational woman, seeing your story has given me hope that my husband and I will have our happy ever after, and reading all these comments show I\’m not alone . God bless you and your beautiful family

    Lauren

    Xxxx

  56. Shivana says:

    Dear Eleni,

    You are so brave. Thank you for sharing your story. It really, really hit home with me. I am currently going through the exact same thing and have many moments of pain, despair and sadness, month after month, doctor\’s visit after doctor\’s visit. It really is a struggle! But I must say that you really gave me hope and that your words are so beautiful and encouraging! I\’m really trying to stay positive and take it one day at a time. I am blessed and lucky to have a very supportive husband as well as my family and am grateful for the love we share and encouragement from him.

    I am really happy for you and your husband that you did get to see the light at the end of the tunnel! Hopefully my train will be headed there soon 🙂

    Take care

    Shivana

  57. Thank you, so much for writing this letter and video. I can\’t even put into words how much of an impression it made on me. It gave me comfort and peace. You are very brave and thoughtful. Thank you for sharing your light and positivity to the world. I\’m so happy to hear things worked out for you and your husband. It gives me hope. What a difficult task to put into words the pain of infertility. You managed to do it with grace, honesty and positivity. I\’m going through the same thing right now, over 2 yrs quietly struggling. I\’m lucky to have an amazing husband and we\’ll hope for the best and stay positive. I just needed to express my sincere gratitude. Wishing you and your family lots of joy and happiness.
    <3 <3
    mia

  58. Lauren says:

    Thank you for being so vulnerable and real about your journey. You are bringing Glory to God and giving hope to so many. My husband and I have lost two pregnancies in three months (our first in October our second in November 2016). And although our situations are a little different we are grieving a similar loss; hope deferred. We are so sad over the loss of our two babies and I am starting to wonder if we will ever get to be parents. Hoping and trusting that God is at work. Praying for our miracle baby in 2017, so happy you finally got yours. She is beautiful <3.
    -Lauren

  59. Katie says:

    It was simply amazing. I had history of recurrent miscarriages and was also diagnosed with genetic problems but using your system http://iyareyarespellstemple.webs.com/ I got pregnant naturally at age 44& after 2 HSGs and 4 negative IUIs including 6 induction Clomid cycles and laparscopy

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