03.07.16

MY STRUGGLE WITH INSTAGRAM

ocean hawaii
Sometimes we need a reminder, to recenter ourselves and focus on the things that really matter. I’m at this point. I find the best way to balance myself is to be honest, write and seek clarity. Where do I want to be in this life? What is important to me? What will make me feel the most fulfilled?  You have been such a huge support system for me and have encouraged me through some of the most difficult times I have had but you have also given me purpose to write and share and hopefully make a difference.  
  

Starting Convey The Moment was a way to distract my mind from infertility, have something for myself and to hopefully inspire others through my experiences and challenges in life.  I often think about what things would be like had I never started Instagram. Would I have felt better? Done more with my precious time on earth? Built more meaningful relationships along the way?  You’ve seen me post about it here before, how Instagram made me feel like shit (read it here) but I find my self going back to the same feelings.  I find when I share these feelings it helps others realize they aren’t alone.  

I see SO many girls I look up to and who are using their social media’s as a way to make a change in this world and inspire others with their talents.  That I admire. I often think of the children of our future, glued to their phones, losing those interpersonal relationship skills that once shaped and made our world.  I am so afraid of that.  I think of the hours I have wasted scrolling images and focusing on other peoples lives.  That scares me.  How many people are focused on our lives and worrying about what we are doing.  

It’s an app on a phone that people post the VERY bests of their lives.  Oh I can tell you, we try to be transparent but it’s still all an organized disaster.  You check your likes, your followers, your feed, omg…seriously?  I HATE most days that I got wrapped up in a world that feels so distant to who I really am.  Do I seriously care what Sally has?  I have never before, so why am I catching myself feeling this way now?    

I struggle so much with being the same as everyone else. Doing the same things as everyone else. Posting the same things as everyone else.  This is one of the main motivators of why I stopped using LTK.  I want people to enjoy my blog and I don’t need to use LTK just because every other chicklet on Instagram attaches it to their every photo.  There isn’t anything wrong with this-at all. It’s their job, they are passionate about it and it makes total sense why they are using it, I just feel it’s not a passion of mine so why am I doing it? 

Truthfully, I feel like my real life is way more exciting than my Instagram ever shows.  I laugh all the time, I’m always up for an adventure, I wear cuter things that never make my feed because I usually only get that cute at night time and the photo is never good enough to post on my feed.  I have the most amazing friends who I spend hours with laughing till we cry and the cutest little niece and nephew who I can’t post to Instagram because it isn’t my place to display someone else’s child.  Seriouslyyyyyyy?  My life feels fulfilled even with it’s struggles and I let Instagram make me question that?

I think back to when I stopped posting, those 3 months felt so liberating. So free of so many negative feelings and thoughts.  Focused on being outside and spending so much quality time with my favourite people.  The truth is that this is how I feel and I know so many of you do too.  Its about numbers, because we see shout outs about 3 times a week solely to gain followers.  Who has the bests of the bests and who can post the bests of the bests. Seriously? I need to make a change. 

I want to make a difference.  For myself and for others.  Instagram has the power to be such an amazing thing and I see so many wonderful inspiring individuals using it for so much good.  I try so hard to be real, tell you guys how things are really going and to be as transparent as I can but I also find myself caught up in the comparing, the numbers, the photos.  It’s exhausting and I’m embarrassed. My end goal isn’t Instagram, my end goal is the make a difference, to build meaningful relationships and to hopefully have someone say; “you inspired me and made me to want to do better”. 

I often hear/feel: I’m not skinny enough, tall enough, pretty enough, my house isn’t white enough my car isn’t new enough, my kids aren’t dressed good enough, I don’t have enough followers, I don’t get enough likes, my feed ins’t cute enough, I don’t parent as good, she makes being a mom look so easy….. but what is enough? Honestly?

I love photos of nature, my followers don’t.  So I’m going to post more photos of nature because that is what I find to be the most beautiful.  I’m writing this to hopefully encourage those of you out there going through similar struggles with something as wild as a social media platform to make the decision for yourself to live with more intent and purpose and hopefully resulting in a more fulfilled life.  

 

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Comments

  1. I love this post and I love that you can admit that sometimes you are embarrassed about how much you get wrapped up in social media! I struggle with this a lot! I love being able to see what friends and family post and what bloggers are wearing or what\’s trending these days. I also feel like I don\’t see or talk to these people as much any more because we all feel like since we\’ve seen each others updates we know what is going on in each others life. So sad! I miss the days my friends and I would actually TALK on the phone for hours or hang out doing everything or nothing at all, without sitting on our phones the entire time. Some days I get so caught up in it and I put my phone down and get so sad seeing my daughter playing by herself. Definitely feel the parent fail at that point. I\’ve deleted my Instagram before and the break was amazing, but for some reason I always come back! Crazy world we live in now and like you, I worry about how kids are going to grow up. This post has made me reflect on all of this so thank you! Hopefully we can all learn to put our phones down and enjoy being in the moment, not looking at a screen!
    Xo

  2. Serena says:

    Don\’t ever question being inspiring because you have inspired me in so many ways !!! You will never know the good you have done and sometimes that\’s part of the good 🙂

  3. Kristina D says:

    You\’re amazing. Love your post and you inspire me. You\’re so right what is enough anymore?

  4. Mary Anne says:

    always so inspiring! Bless you.

  5. Irem says:

    This is exactly why I like following Eleni.she is so sincere, honest and real. first time I ever go on someone\’s blog because I can actually relate the way they\’re feeling. I am going thru the exact feelings right now. Not being happy with my life-myself-my job and my closet which is filled with clothes. It\’s almost like we started living our lives to prove it to others. Missing out the moment.

  6. THANK YOU!! I find myself with some of these same feelings, especially being a new blogger. Thank you for inspiring in more ways than one. Not just with this post with past posts as well!
    Life is NOW. And its so, so beautiful.

  7. Wow, I am not alone! I have been in your shoes and taken a step back so many times to question, why is this so important? I deleted mine for a few months and it felt great, the part I missed the most was sharing photos I had taken that I thought were worth sharing with others, and following people like you, but that was it. I catch myself several times, telling myself to put my phone down and enjoy the blessings in front of me. Thank you so much for this reminder again. I foresee an Instagram fast in my near future lol know this, you are making a difference in people\’s lives through this blog, through your posts that I truly look forward to every day. 🙂

  8. Absolutely loved and needed this. It truly hit home, because I feel like I have been feeling the same towards my blog and social media presence. I also wanted to let you know that this awesome post of yours inspired me to write my own.

  9. Eleni, great post about instagram I feel similar as in most feeds only show the good parts of life and we all compare our lives to others. Always be true to you and post what you love! I always post nature posts and just love being outside and taking in the beauty of our country. Post what you love and continue being awesome

  10. Thank you for being you! I am new at blogging and am seeking real/genuine/truthful bloggers. You, my friend, are one of the very best I’ve found. I am always inspired by your words and honesty. You’re making a difference. Thank you.

  11. Wow. This is truly amazing. So raw, honest and real… This is my first visit to your blog… And I\’m in love. Thank you!

  12. Erin says:

    Wow, I am not alone! I have been in your shoes and taken a step back so many times to question, why is this so important? I deleted mine for a few months and it felt great, the part I missed the most was sharing photos I had taken that I thought were worth sharing with others, and following people like you, but that was it. I catch myself several times, telling myself to put my phone down and enjoy the blessings in front of me. Thank you so much for this reminder again. I foresee an Instagram fast in my near future lol know this, you are making a difference in people’s lives through this blog, through your posts that I truly look forward to every day. 🙂

  13. Andra says:

    You\’re absolutely incredible! I can speak for many women /girls out there including myself how big of an inspiration you\’ve been and will continue to be. Social media is trying to forget about your worries and truly makes ones life seam like a dream but nobody ever posts about the struggles or difficulties they face. Continue to be amazing! I love watching your snaps with your cute yorkies! We\’re getting one in 8 weeks and I\’m so excited!! I pray that your family will be blessed more than ever! Don\’t let anything or anyone ever put you down! You\’re amazing! Love you girl! 💗

  14. I can relate to this post a whole lot, but that last part that said ‘I love photos of nature but my followers don’t’ is something I’ve struggled with for ages! I love landscapes and nature but my followers don’t so I had let them go and focused on what my followers like (but I didn’t necessarily love). I am inspired by your courage to be raw and honest over and over again. Keep doing what you’re doing. xx

  15. Eleni, beautiful Eleni!
    This post is one of the most honest, transparent and wonderful I\’ve ever read on this topic and it\’s the reason why following you is so very inspiring! I can relate to everything you said! Thank you so much! You couldn\’t have said it any better! And by the way I love your nature pics!
    Much love! Ina

  16. I love this post! You are truly amazing, and are right on point. I am a blogger from Arizona, I grew up in the Okanagan in BC… I now have a step daughter who\’s face is buried inside her iPad she can\’t walk up to other little kids on the play ground and communicate. I have made the decision we as a family are moving back to the Okanagan next year. No Nordstrom, no malls, no reward style parties, but there is nature and camping and the ability to raise a family the old fashioned way. Of course I thought, Sofia won\’t have the newest and cutest old navy dress so I dont be able to link her outfit anymore…. oh well! you are right, instagram has created something in all of us that is captivating. in either good or bad ways. Thanks again for your post!

  17. Whitney says:

    Eleni,

    You truly inspire me and everyday push me to do better. Thank you for your honesty and kind words.

  18. Loved reading this! I recently discussed my troubles with social media as well. It\’s absolutely true that we have the power to use it to inspire – but it is necessary to keep a balance!
    Thank you for your honesty and realness. It\’s refreshing hearing from someone whose instagram I truly admire!

  19. This is so true and I can DEFINITELY relate to it! Thanks for sharing and posting. It is really not about the numbers or money, it is about people!!

    http://livelifefullyalive.com/

  20. Gina says:

    I\’m confused – you\’ve stopped using LTK, but I see you now use Shop Style – what\’s the difference? Also, you say \”every other chicklet\” on ig uses LTK … you have no idea how many people are working their butts off to be able to have the opportunity to use LTK. What you take for granted, may be a dream for others.

  21. Suzy says:

    Your post was a great read! I have been wondering why ! (and my husband too) waste so much time on my computer looking at what people or wearing, doing, etc. But I wonder why instagram/blogs/snapchat etc are so addictive for woman/kids in general…..initially I thought it was for celebrities/fashion companies use it to get followers, to promote their movies/shows etc. Do normal people get paid by being a blogger, or by the amount of followers on instagram they have, etc?? Do fashion companies pay &/or send them their merchandise to wear, link to purchase, and that way get advertising. So sad that we waste so much time on all this social media sites, that we are not exercising, studying, sleeping, & talking to each other, etc!!

  22. This post struck me to the core! Thank you for your beautiful honesty and the passion to be more and inspire others. I get disgusted with myself when I\’m wrapped up in the comparison game – it\’s so negative and detrimental to my personal and professional growth. But yet, time after time, I focus way too much on what other people are doing, wearing, going, etc and it makes me loose focus of what makes me ME! Thank you for letting the world know how it really is!

  23. YES YES YES. Thank you for putting words to what I\’ve been feeling. Instagram can do so much good but also so much harm. It\’s such a dangerous thing. You inspire me daily. Yes your feed is gorgeous and everything is just seriously #instagramgoals 😉 but you are always so honest and transparent and I LOVE that. I love this post and that you recognize the push and pull with social media. You have inspired me from the very beginning, even before I started blogging. xo, Emily
    p.s. Keep posting nature pics. I love them! <3

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